Want a little Tooley in you?

Man, what a coincidence, Paul! I was just reading about EdwardTooley, too! In this Details article:

So the Woman You Love Has the Hots for a Vampire. What Does That Say About You?

"We were just saying that there's a little bit of Edward Tooley in every guy"

Tooley's REAL dad

Happy father's Day

www.facebook.com/tooleyislame

I think it has a certain ring to it. What would your facebook username be?

Someone Employ Tooley.... Please

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Separation Anxiety

I don't know if anyone else has been in the position I was in on Tuesday. If you have, I tip my hat you. If you have not there is still a one in three chance that your ticking timebomb some call an "appendix" will one day too decide its time in your body is over and it wants to move on. To those lucky one third I dedicate this story.



Chapter 1: Appendix

It all started on Tuesday morning. I woke up with pains in my sides, which comparably felt on par with having cramps after heavy exercise. You know that feeling when you're out of breath because you've just gotten up from the couch, gone to the fridge to get another beer, then go back and sit down? Yeah, that kind of physical exhaustion. I went to an interview and charmed the pants off the marketing lady interviewing me (never had a pantsless interview before, but it was better than I thought). After the interview I was in more pain, but I decided that feasting on a buffalo chicken sub would clearly assist in my constipated feeling. Later that evening the pain persisted more strongly on my right side, my appetite diminished, and around midnight I decided my pain was rising faster than it should. I did not want to go to the hospital since I am uninsured, and had been since I quit working at Critical Logic, so heading to the hospital (or what now would be the ER at 1am would be quite costly) was not high on my list of immediate desires. We spent about an hour calling Devon and my parents until we realized that by some tiny tiny loophole I am still qualified for insurance through COBRA, and that I could potentially be insured before going into the ER. Word of the wise to anyone who has relative in latter timezones, it is AWESOME. While now in Troy it is 2am Wednesday in Alaska it is 10pm Tuesday, so while I was on my way to the ER my parents were on their way to the post office to timestamp my insurace renewal forms the day prior. Will this work.....? Who knows, but it's worth a shot.



Chapter 2: Hospital

We arrive at the ER and meet my nurse, who while very nice and funny, is quite incompetent. She left me in a room for about half an hour in pain, then came back in and pressed on my left side and asked if I was feeling pain on my right. I said I was to which she looked confused about. I told her that my right side DID hurt and that she was pressing on my left. After a moment of confusion, followed by a moment of embarassment the nurse went back to work pressing on my sore side and this time getting the desired expression of grimmace from my face. The next few hours went like this: Someone comes in and asks me the same 6 questions as the person before them then leaves for 45 minutes. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. I think my favorite time was about 4:30 when I could not sit because I was sore, I was tired, and was in the most pain I had felt all day long...and then there were drugs. Sweet, sweet, painkilling drugs. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.................................................



Chapter 3: Appendectomy

I don't remember it, by this point I was on more drugs.



Chapter 4: Recovery

I woke up with a tan-gone-bad on my stomach, 3 holes, and apparently a body part missing. I was still sore, crazy tired, not wearing pants, but on the plus side I have the best bed in the best room on the whole floor. Corner room facing downtown Albany. The downside was my angry room mate who was growling at nurses and other staff all day/night long, and at 3am shit his bed. Literally shit his bed. Moral of this story: don't be angry or you will soil your pants. I spent a total of about 24 hours in that room in recovery eating food, watching shitty tv, listening to my room mate, and sleeping. It was enjoyable, but still being really sore was definitely a pain in the ass. I think that at least 3 dozen times I imagined Paul doing all the work that I was witnessing and I must say I'm impressed. I don't think I would have the patience to help the angry, crying, unhelpful, messy, old, etc. variety of patients that I saw with as much grace and compassion that I witnessed. Eventually though my doctor finally came and visited me (at 6am the next day) and said I was free to go. I was discharged at 11. Must give them credit for their swiftness...



Chapter 5: Aftermath


What can I say? I loves me my fruit flowers. Thanks Paul. Also thanks for everyone else that was concerned about my health.

RIP, Tooley's Appendix

Tooley had an emergency Appendectomy this morning.

Heyyyyy! You Look Like a Real Jerk!

Goodbye Toodles and Devon!

Folks, the majority of Spokanicity resides in the city and county of Spokane no longer. It's officially the end of an era.

Welcome to the year 0 P.H.A.G.E. That's Post Hat and Gloves Era, if you were wondering.

Death of Spokanicity

[15:26] Paul: is spokanicity dead?
[15:30] Rachel: i don't know
[15:30] Rachel: since tooley can't come [...] and becca is out of town, i guess so

[...]


[15:40] Paul: since we can't do it in the chatroom...
[15:40] Rachel Wilson: oh we can do it in the chatroom
[15:40] Paul: it might be too hard to do it in the chatroom these days
[15:41] Rachel: it'd be a tad uncomfortable
[15:41] Paul: really, what's the point if tooley can't come?
[15:41] Rachel: true

Holiday Parties

Inspired by Mary's previous post, I have decided to make my way back into the blog-o-sphere. I was so pumped about starting up Spokanicity and then I sort of disappeared for awhile but now... now I'm back, bitches.

Back in December, Tooley and I made a deal that we'd go to each other's (work) holiday parties in search of free booze, amusing coworkers, and general hijinks. Tooley's Little Software Company holiday party was first, taking place in the Davenport. Because we got there early, we wandered around looking at these fancy gingerbread houses that were on display. When the party itself started, we sat at a table with Tooley's coworker Kit and his then-fiance and his coworker Alex, which made for some... interesting conversation. The food was standard catering fare, but the booze was FREE, FREE, FREE and Tooley was driving so I had three glasses of wine.

My second-favorite moment was when Alex saw me playing with the silver ring I wear sometimes on my right hand and asked me if I was married. When I replied no, he asked me if I had any single friends. Now, he sends me invitations to at least one Facebook application a day.

My favorite moment was when Tooley and I decided that we needed to lighten the load of booze that the Davenport would have to put away. We're considerate, right? So we lingered not at all obviously (read: incredibly obviously) by the beverage table while almost all of his coworkers left to go home. When the members of cleanup crew had their backs turned, Tooley stuffed a bottle of white wine in my purse and we booked it. Once back in the Logan neighborhood, we burst into Matt and Becca's apartment while they were in the middle of domestic bliss (i.e. watching Arrested Development and playing on their laptops side-by-side) and split the bottle. Even though I don't like white wine usually, this tasted delicious. Because it was free? I'll let you decide.

My Little Software Company had its party at Gonzaga, and Becca was ill, so it was not nearly as fun-filled, buuuut we still got drunk and played Rock Band after. So, all's well that ends well.

Forget Zombie Apocalypse, We Have Robots to Deal With.

Apparently Artificial Intelligence will reach human level by 2029

Some people may be preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Yes, I'm sure biological warfare and/or genetic engineering or magic might just somehow create zombies that seek out brains. The debate's still out on whether they'd be able to be fast or not. But that's years away. We have robots to start worrying about, Ala the Terminator, the Robot Devil, and Deceptacon.

Cosmo

One of my community members brought home Cosmo from work.

Here's an excerpt of something that I thought was amusingly familiar. Maybe we should bring back the chamberpot for drunks?

Wet Wake-Up Call

"My commute to work is an hour long. So when my company had a holiday party, a coworker offered to let me stay the night at her house, which is near the office. Since I didn't have to drive, I took advantage of the open bar. When we got back to her place, I passed out. I woke up the next morning and felt a big wet spot underneath me. I was so drunk, I had peed the bed...and I had to tell my coworker. Later that day, the entire office knew about my accident." - Kristen, 33