Half Price Wine Bottles

Anybody interested in Happy Hour?


Ambrosia Bistro and Wine Bar
9211 E. Montgomery

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All Bottles Half Price on Tuesdays

I love the Olympics

If you didn't see the men's 4x100 swim relay last night, you should really go see the video ASAP.

Cowboy Butts Drive Me Nuts

I know this is in bad taste, and I am ashamed to say when I saw this I started laughing hysterically. I hate myself.

Black Dog Music Festival Line-up Change

I was looking this afternoon to see where I could get tickets in advance (costing $15 rather than $20), and it looks like there is a line-up change. American Night (The Doors Tribute) may or may not be playing and The Relay (The Who Tribute) may or may not be taking their place. I've seen it both ways, but it looks like The Relay may be playing instead of American Night. Either way, I am excited. Not excited about not being able to bring beverages into the concert. Bitches.

I want to get tickets here in the next couple days, who wants them and I'll buy them online. I need people to tell me otherwise you'll be buying them in Idaho.

Blue Angels!

Hi kids. I know we're all super excited about the music and general craziness that will ensue in Idaho this weekend, but I'd like to make a request. Can we please please please go see the Blue Angels in Airway Heights at SkyFest this coming weekend? The little SeaFair-loving girl in me misses the yearly plane acrobatics, and thinks it'd be super awesome if we went over there to take part.

Thoughts?

Musicfest NW

To get you all excited for Musicfest NW, I made a mixtape. Enjoy!

I Can Has Fail

10 Reasons Why FAILDogs Are Better Than LOLCats

1. Dogs are awesome.

2. No "I can has..." or "I is in...".

3. Short and to the point.

4. Failure is funnier than mentally handicapped cats.

5. Dogs are awesome.

6. I can't think of anything else. FAIL!

WEIRD SCIENCE!

I cannot stop watching this.

Letting it load all the way is vital.

My inability to budget money

Well, I finally could no longer resist the temptation to buy myself a little sump-sumpin', so after searching for a while I finally caved like a cheap hooker that just got punched in the stomach by a fat guy...and bought myself an Xbox360 Elite (boo-ya Blaise).

Anyway, as most of you know (or should know) I am a big fan of deals, and got myself a sweet one. Brand new factory sealed Xbox with Medal of Honor Airbourne, for $325 (that includes shipping). Sorry Craven, looks like you'll be coming over here to play Rock Band....and drink massive amounts of alcohol while we become a true rock band. I am opening auditions for a band (Bastardized Steam), so if you (or others) are interested in trying out you will need several things.

1. Nerd talent
2. Nerd shame
3. Nerd appreciation
4. Money (that's right, it's gonna cost ya)

I know what I need, but this is the lineup I am going for. I need a singer, so based on past history I am nominating Matthew Craven since he clearly has the most vocal talent of anyone I know. When asked in an interview what instruments he played, John Lennon, replied "A bit of piano, and a bit of mouth organ," and I've seen that mouth organ at work, and let me tell you readers, it is an awe inspiring sight to witness and a true blessing on the ear canals.

I need an ax wielder, so I am nominating Steve. Bare in mind I actually want him to carry an ax and protect us from fans, neighbors, zombies, etc. with an ax.

Third, I need some background dancers. Why you ask? Well if I am not motivated by beautiful dancing then why am I bothering, really? So in the dance department I have actually pulled some strings, called in a few personal favors and debts, and resorted to acting out some sexual favors which I swore I would never act out again after that one trip I took to Germany, but I got him ladies and gentlemen. Yes, I got the one man who can bring unity and awesome Bastardized Steam. Chris Martin. He will be dancing around the room like in Viva la Vida. You are welcome, you are ALL welcome.

A drummer is on the list of players, and since I could not get Lars Ulrich, I just went out and got that monkey who bangs cymbals. I personally will not be playing, but rather managing you all until you are a well oiled machine, then we're taking this shit on the road and I will sell the rights and become extremely wealthy while you all slip into poverty. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

Hmmm, it has been about 45 minutes since I started this post and forgot it was still being worked on, and I had forgotten that I was writing a rant about rock band, but I digress. Moving on to more interesting topics. Firstly (and a reminder), we COULD do something for Steve since he is leaving for Pullman (practically another continent away) on the 1st and we may never see him again since he will be sucked into the shit that is po-dunk farm town. His parental units will be in town today and helping him load up a U-Haul tomorrow, so if we wanted to do something with him tonight may be a good night.

Steve's Going Away

I was thinking that in a couple days Steve will be leaving (all of an hour away I realize but still), and his parents will be in town to help him move to Pullman, but I was thinking we could do something with him. Tomorrow maybe lunch at Taste of India, then that night at 710 barbecue some sausages, drink some beers, smoke a cigar...? Thoughts? I figured that these would all be simple things Steve would enjoy, then his parents will be in town and they'll probably take him to dinner and blah blah blah parent things.

PWN

I just thought we might need a PWN picture to start our days off right. No reason.

What is Emo Music?

Did Rachel just call The Shins Emo?

In a response to an earlier post, she wrote,

Left and Leaving - The Weakerthans
Past and Pending - The Shins


Mmm, symmetrical emo.

Which leads to the question, what is the definition of emo music. According to about.com,

These days, the term emo is used to describe any band playing guitar-based music that is emotional either in approach, lyrical focus or affect.

[...]

Today, "emo" can describe almost anything emotional.

So how can a genre that can describe anything as eliciting emotion be a genre at all? A genre, as the dictionary defines it, is

A category of artistic composition, as in music or literature, marked by a distinctive style, form, or content

And for reference, a wikionary definition of emo.

An open letter to my Spokie neighbors

Dear Neighbors,

Kathy, you've introduced yourself to me three times. Two of those times were within the span of one or two minutes - don't act surprised when I say, "I know" after you say, "I'm Kathy." And no, I'm sorry, you can't "knock on [my] door and use [my] phone" if you're "hard up later." Hard up for what, I ask you? And I know your world is much different than mine, but it made me uncomfortable that you stared at me blankly when I replied, "I'm kind of like a programmer" when you asked what my job at the software company was. Programmer = one who programs. I also won't fix the viruses on your computer. If you have a computer, why don't you have a phone? You should tell your dealer to get email.

Allen, I only knew you before as the guy who owned the creepy blue stalker van that never leaves the space next to mine. But now, you are so much more to me. Unlike Kathy's blank response, you dreamily crooned, "Cyyyyyberspaaaaace" when I told you I was a programmer. And when I was saying goodbye, that I really had to make my dinner and stop talking to you guys, you held up your open hand and said, "High five!" When I leaned in to meet it, you faked me out and slurred, "Cyberspace high five!" Yes Allen, you've gained my hesitant affection.

But please stop drinking Key Lights in mug hugs on the steps and ambushing me after work when I really just want to go inside and make my dinner.

Thanks,
Rachel

A Friends video for Tooley

Just something I was watching today.

The Price Point

I thought I'd tell everybody about the new deal at Amazon MP3. If you don't know, Amazon MP3 is Amazon's online MP3 download service much like the iTunes store. The advantage to the Amazon store is its MP3's don't have DRM (that's what makes it so you can't play iTunes tracks on other computers without a password). Also most albums are $9 compared to iTunes $10.

Now I started using Amazon MP3 when I really wanted to buy a new album. For me, its MP3 or vinyl. I don't feel the need to buy CD's, unless I can get them as cheap as the MP3. I'm only going to rip them anyway and its one less thing to clutter up the apartment. Ok, so Amazon MP3 was working great for me when there was an album I really wanted and couldn't find it on vinyl.

Then Amazon MP3 instituted the Friday 5 deal. Every Friday, Amazon MP3 puts up 5 albums for $5 each. This was bad news for me because I couldn't help but find an album on the list that would buy for $5. Then they started the daily deal. They now add one album a day for $3. I've bought 3 in the past week.

I think Amazon has done what the record industry should have done a long time ago, back when piracy became such a huge deal to them. Amazon has found my price point. There are a lot of albums that I would pay $3 for. They are very few I would pay $10 for. Consider how much Amazon has increased their sales to me just by lowering their price a couple of dollars. It doesn't cost Amazon that much extra to send the bits to me over the internets. They got me to purchase three albums I probably wouldn't have thought about buying for $10, but would buy for $3. That's $9 more than they had before.

For the record the three albums I bought were Peter Gabriel, Interpol, and Elliot Smith. This leads me to my conspiracy theory. Amazon has the perfect opportunity with buyer history to just offer me an album everyday that I would buy for $3. What's stopping them from giving everybody their own "daily deal". I'm not so sure how I would feel about that, except I'm still getting an album I want for $3.

Are You a Man?

From that Askmen.com Survey

Young, single men are fed up with being typecast as immature, insensitive and sex-obsessed, with a survey finding that the majority believe in having a soul mate, aren't scared of commitment, and say real men can cry.

A poll of 70,000 men with an average age of 28 debunked many of the standard stereotypes to show that the modern man is driven by a sense of values, loyalty and family. - Reuters

End of the Year Slideshow Soundtrack

I'm working on a soundtrack for the slideshow my community is making for the JVC slideshow to be shown at Dis-O. If you were to make a soundtrack for something like this, what songs would you include. And no green day.

Yurt Fiction

The New Yorker as a fiction piece about Yurts, I guess.

But that explained nothing. “A yurt?” Ms. Hempel asked. “Is that something . . . Yemenese?” She blushed.

Scrubs isn't really cancelled

It's coming back...on ABC.

Never quite happy on NBC, "Scrubs" has jumped to ABC. Which actually makes some sense, seeing how it's an ABC/Touchstone production, anyway.

Paul's Return

After learning the basics to saving the world, I'll be returning to the NW around August 14th. I'm going to have to go to Spokane by early Spokane to pick up stuff I left with Joos (assuming he didn't get rid of it). Not that I have an idea of any sort of schedule for myself, but what's everyone doing around then?

Update:

Fun Yurt facts (from Yurt People)

The Yurt

is a round dwelling, held together at the eaves by a tension band. It has a cone shaped roof with a central compression ring skylight at the center top of the cone roof. This basic structure, used originally by the Mongolians, is the oldest form of prefab indigenous architecture still in use today and manufactured world wide.

Both in traditional and modern fabrics, are now available through Vital Designs in standard and custom frame panels.

Structural Definition
The Basic Yurt

The basic concept is this:

Both the felt or fabric covered Lattice wall Yurt and the modern day multi-faceted panel frame Yurt share the same principles. Both wall systems form a circular wall which are held together in tension by a cable at the top of the wall or at the roof edge. These panel or lattice walls form a base in tension which when connected to the roof rafters or roof frame panels hold them from pushing outward.

The roof frames or rafters are laid side by side and are attached to the cable along the perimeter. Together they form a conical roof. These rafters or panels at the top center of the truncated cone are cut short of the center and are attached to a central skylight compression ring. This structural system with its perimeter tension cable and central roof compression ring can span large distances with no center pole, resulting in lighter roof timbers for greater spans with a higher efficiency in use of materials.

Wilco + Fleet Foxes

Anybody want to go see Wilco and Fleet Foxes at the Opera House?

Aug. 21 8 PM
$30

Probably one of the better shows that Spokane can get.

Black Dog Music Festival

August 9th (Saturday) there is going to be an 8 hour music festival featuring 4 tribute bands:

No Quarter (Led Zeppelin)
American Night (The Doors)
Whiskey Creek (Lynyrd Skynyrd)
Blink Floyd (Pink Floyd)

Tickets are only $15, and I highly recommend we venture to Idaho and maybe camp there for the night? It should be amazing, No Quarter was fantastic last time, and with the other bands playing I am super excited.

7-eleven

Don't forget free Squishee Day on Friday!

The Moose is Loose in the Hoose with Joos.

Here are some reasons (not including their beer) as to why you should love canada from the Vancouver Sun:

1. The toque. For inventing hat hair, Canuck-style.

2. Joni Mitchell. The Prairie priestess of poetry. For singing Butterbox Babies and A Case of You.

3. Tim Hortons. For brewing coffee that tastes as good as it smells. And for chocolate sour cream Timbits.

4. Pierre Elliott Trudeau. Because he could do handsprings, and drove a gull-wing Mercedes roadster. Because he made us think about what our country means to us.

5. Polar bears. Big, white, beautiful.

6. The anti-gun rack. In which our pickup trucks carry umbrellas, not automatic weapons.

7. McIntosh apple. That sweet crunch was brought to you by Ontario's Johnny (Appleseed) McIntosh, in 1796.

8. Wayne Gretzky. You don't have to be a hockey fan to call the pride of Brantford a great athlete, and one classy guy.

9. Salmon. Our iconic survivor.

10. Greenpeace. For raising global environmental consciousness, and for saving whales.

Here are my reasons:

1. Poutine
2. Mounties
3. Health Care
4. Beer
5. Strange Brew (The Movie)
6. The Accent

Celebrate responsibly.

Panda Panda Panda

SCHWIMMER

Prepare to be Schwimmer'd!

Great Internet Fuckwad Theory

I think it applies here

Normal Person + Anonymity = Total Fuckwad

meets

Ego Maniac + Thousands of willing servants =
Shame, humiliation, and Akon fireman tossing your ass off a stage

More great rock & roll tantrums inspired by Josh Homme's freakout on that "dickless turd". I don't really think its the crowd's fault if a festival books Nickelback. Best Nickelback concert ever? Enjoy.

-limewire blog

Death of Spokanicity

[15:26] Paul: is spokanicity dead?
[15:30] Rachel: i don't know
[15:30] Rachel: since tooley can't come [...] and becca is out of town, i guess so

[...]


[15:40] Paul: since we can't do it in the chatroom...
[15:40] Rachel Wilson: oh we can do it in the chatroom
[15:40] Paul: it might be too hard to do it in the chatroom these days
[15:41] Rachel: it'd be a tad uncomfortable
[15:41] Paul: really, what's the point if tooley can't come?
[15:41] Rachel: true

Domesticity: Drilling Rods

Yesterday I opened my apartment door to Becca holding up a drill, pressing the trigger intermittently to make that whirring drill noise. Aha! Finally time to put up my curtain rod.

It turned into a comedy of errors, as it seemingly always does when Becca and I try to do something domestic (see: moving/carrying heavy things in general, cooking pancakes, taking apart a desk, putting snow chains on tires, etc.). Cut to a scene of: me on a chair, with Becca holding up the bracket, trying to drill in a screw while nearly falling out the screen-less window to my death.

WHY were my walls SO HARD to drill into? I must've had like concrete walls or something!

Upon closer examination: the drill was turning the wrong direction. You know, the UN-screwing direction. So, switched 'er up, and began the process over again, with much more success. Until the drill started whirring slower... and slower... and died. Then we examined the battery pack trying to figure out how to plug it into the wall to re-charge it. But wait! You actually had to have an additional part to charge the battery, so Becca and I began the three-block trek back to her apartment (while a thunderstorm raged overhead, but that's beside the point).

And then I decided, screw it, and watched the Top Chef finale and drank some wine.

But when I got home after 11, even though I'm low on sleep and was sort of tipsy and really should've gone to bed, I decided I really wanted to get that goddamn curtain rod up. Me, standing on furniture, a little bit wine-buzzed, brandishing a drill... yeah. Not a good idea. But at least I have pretty windows now!

a Paulism?

Paul (12:15:21 PM): I LIKE BEAVERS!

Other Account

Could whoever has the power add my gmail account as an author. I'm tired of signing in and out to add stuff. THANKS!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!???!!!!!!!!!!!!......

...

sorry, my account is

mattcrav@gmail.com

I needed some motivation to work today.

Have you ever been high as fuck?

Last night, Trevor, Steve, Tooley and I were hanging out at the Bulldog for dollar cans night, when who should appear but Guy I Randomly Met at the Bulldog and Have Been Avoiding, Anthony. Anthony offered to smoke us out in the back, so off we (Trevor and I obviously, not S&T) went. We split an average-sized bowl three ways....

...and I have never been higher in my life. Ever. And I have gotten lost in my own green room. Anthony split shortly thereafter, possibly in concjunction with me explaining loudly to Tooley that I wasn't going to sleep with him. (Subtle Mary was out in full force. Not.) S&T wandered off as our powers of communication diminished, but not before I'd attempted to sing Tooley the Have You Ever Been High as Fuck song. I failed. But here it is, Tooley, as promised:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df_O-EBjVrk

Joos finally found us sitting outside the Bulldog trying to figure out how to walk and took us home, like a savior, coming out of the night with a halo of glory around his Basque head. Or so it appeared to us.

We were then innocently eating a box of stale Safeway cookies when who should descend upon us but Spenser, the Karl of Piraeus. In my weakened state, I still managed to drag myself upstairs to hide. Trevor couldn't move and had to listen to him until like 1:30 when he mustered the energy to escape.

$199 iPhone

Apple just announced there new iPhone 3G. There's an 8 GB version for $199 and a 16 GB version for $299. $199 sounds like a pretty fair price. You get GPS and access to the app store. I would definitely consider getting one when I upgrade my phone, even though you have sign up with AT&T. I don't much care for Verizon anway.

Sidenote, does anybody else use google reader. I just discovered it and think it's pretty cool. Saves me a lot of time checking websites.

So, Tyson chickens have avian flu. Scary. And tomatoes have salmonella right now. Talk about hell in a hand basket.

I miss summertime in the 509 :( I just wanted to drop a line and say that I hope you guys are having a blast while not forgetting about me!

AND COME VISIT! I will take you hiking or biking or rafting or flyfishing or all of the above. And obviously get you drunk as a skunk.

Records are coming back

And it's all thanks to Matt & Tooley.

Fred Meyer is going to start selling records again to "boost sales."

But now that a big-dog department store/supermarket chain like Fred Meyer is stocking the left-for-dead LP, it appears that a bona fide resurrection is underway.

Kurt Kobane has been kidnapped!

Well, his ashes were stolen.

The music world was In Bloom-in' shock last night after hearing that the ashes of grunge god KURT COBAIN have been PINCHED!

I can also reveal that the wife of the NIRVANA legend, COURTNEY LOVE, is said to be "suicidal" after finding Kurt's remains missing from her Hollywood home.

She had kept the singer's ashes in a pink teddy-bear-shaped bag along with a lock of his hair.

But a couple of weeks ago, she was horrified to discover them gone, along with thousands of pounds worth of clothes and jewellery.

Fundraiser

Yeah, I really don't like doing fund raising and yet here I'm asking if any of you loyal readers and editors would be able to donate some money for my hike to dis-o. It doesn't have to be big but any amount would help.

Here's a longer description of the fundraiser.


And because my bed, books, and dresser are still in Spokane, that means I'll be back in late August to bring them back to Portland (anyone interested in a moving road trip?).

Elkfest 2008

Elkfest starts today at 4 pm. It's a block away from our apartment. Music, food, and beer. See you there.

Flapping Peen

Becca (11:24:22 AM): Tooley
Becca (11:24:25 AM): I have a 5k for you to run
Becca (11:24:39 AM): you have to sign up for it before I help you
Tooley (11:24:46 AM): alright
Tooley (11:24:50 AM): 2 months!?!
Tooley (11:24:56 AM): I don't have that much time
Becca (11:25:02 AM): Hahaha
Tooley (11:25:02 AM): I was thinking more like 2 weeks
Becca (11:25:06 AM): Well
Becca (11:25:14 AM): For this 5k, you might want to... tone... a little
Tooley (11:25:33 AM): fine
Tooley (11:25:54 AM): when is it?
Becca (11:26:03 AM): end of July
Tooley (11:26:18 AM): alright, 3 miles, should take about 20 minutes if I'm in shape, right?
Tooley (11:26:29 AM): 25 tops
Becca (11:26:32 AM): Uh... maybe
Rachel (11:26:38 AM): ambitious
Becca (11:26:40 AM): Depends on how in shape you get
Tooley (11:27:22 AM): alright, bike to work one day, run the next? how does that sound?
Becca (11:27:24 AM): Also, how much you mind flapping peen
Rachel (11:27:32 AM): AHAHAHAHA
Tooley (11:27:33 AM): what?
Rachel (11:27:36 AM): lol-ing
Becca (11:27:41 AM): It's called the Bare Buns Fun Run
Becca (11:27:47 AM): It's at a nudist beach
Becca (11:27:52 AM): And you totally just agreed to do it
Tooley (11:28:03 AM): alright smart ass, are you doing it Becca?
Becca (11:28:18 AM): Nope
Becca (11:28:21 AM): I'm your coach
Tooley (11:28:24 AM): right
Becca (11:28:27 AM): :D

The Decemberists get Obamamania

Obama and The Decemberists

75,000 people showed up at Portland's Waterfront Park. I would of showed up just to hear The Decemberists. I don't want to give any credence to the conservative pundits, but I'd to take a trip to the park for a free Decemberists concert.

Sidenote, anybody want to go to some concerts this weekend. The Hives are on Sunday before they go to Sasquatch on Monday. The Whigs are on Friday. I heard they're okay. I believe Tooley's camping this weekend. Anybody have cool plans for the weekend.

It's getting hot in Spokane.

Time to bring on the kiddie pools!

Target Selections (I put in my vote for the Banzai Cruise Cantina Pool at $24.99)

If Joos was a Muppet...

According to this, he would be Gonzo the Great. Here he is as Zorro instead.

Bugs Bunny, the Slinky, etc.

I don't think we really have any McCain supporters on the blog, and if we do... too bad.

http://www.thingsyoungerthanmccain.com/

Other Concerts of Note

3/15 Mistress & The Misters (Empyrean)
3/16 Hell's Belles (Big Easy)
3/23 The Whigs (Big Easy)
3/25 The Hives (Big Easy)

3/15 Empyrean Coffeehouse

Thought this might be fun. I kind of like Mistress & The Misters.

I say, "Earl Grey," you say, "Yes please!"

This made me realize that we MUST HAVE A TEA PARTY

Too Far?

Alright, tell me if I went too far on this joke. This morning we were having breakfast (which was awesome because Karl was telling us stupid stories which were hilarious) and J-Mac comes in to visit. To those who don't know, J-Mac is the COO of our company who's sole job is to wine and dine, and hire people. In short, he's an idiot.

Anyway, he comes in and Alex tells him that Devon was laughing so hard a minute prior that she spewed diet coke all over the place. J-Mac seeing the opportunity to make a joke says "you know I always wondered, if you make a cow laugh does milk come out her nose?" I found this joke reminiscent of kindergarten and mainly just stupid, so in response I asked J-Mac "I don't know. If you make a recently pregnant woman laugh does milk come out HER nose?" The entire room laughed hysterically and J-Mac just had a bewildered look on his face that I had shamed him so publicly.

Anyway, I realize that it was crass, but you should have seen the stupid look on his face.

Dave Grohl Writes Metallica a Fan Letter

Dave gets passive agressive on Metallica's ass in a fan letter.

They deserve it, but Dave, Foo Fighters have been putting out the same album for the last 8 years. People in glass houses...

HURRICANE!

The beast took number 10. Here is another of The Worlds 10 best tasting beers:

4. Hurricane High Gravity Lager This malt liquor is to beer what Carlos Mencia is to comedy: crass and phony. The unfettered use of cheap ingredients, designed solely to supply alcohol on the cheap, imparts the aroma of acetone and chemical solvents. Yummy. Safety Harbor Ratebeer.com member Ibrew2or3 has this to say: "Should I be drinking something that smells like an auto shop?"

The answer is YES.

Free NIN Album

Nine Inch Nails has released a free album through their website.

You can download The Slip here.

Can you judge an album is by it's cover?

Bob Boilen thinks so.

I wanna know what cheese is.

Do we know anyone who would be interested in this list?

Neil Youmond or Neil Diamoung?...wait, who?

Why is Neil Diamond so cool anyway? I blame the Red Sox for overplaying Sweet Caroline. From the all songs considered blog:

This was all confirmed for me at a party I went to in Baltimore a while back. Everyone was a lot younger than I am. I was sitting with a group of early twentysomethings, sipping beers and pretending to relate to whatever the topic was. At some point, someone imitated Will Ferrell imitating Neil Diamond, which drew a laugh, followed by a discussion of just how totally cool Diamond is, you know? The most blissfully clueless person in the group asked for a clarification on who, exactly, Neil Diamond is, confusing his name with Neil Young... at which point I had to jump in, exclaiming that one should never confuse the two.

Drink to Support the Alumni Fund?

For $45, you can have the 2005 Aloysius Cabernet Sauvignon.

Funnier than Conan?

He's beating him in the ratings and his monologues have always been done without cue cards or teleprompters.

Which Batman is Better?

The Shins on Nick Jr.

Here is a video of The Shins performing a song on a kid's show... wierd... kind of catchy.

case of the Mondays

I'm sort of having a blah day, but this made me perk right up, and I thought I'd share it with you:

Amazing Choice.

Jimmy Fallon is supposedly in line to succeed Conan when Conan takes over from Leno.

He's the famous comedic genius of SNL and, of course, the motion picture Taxi.

See, I'm not just making this stuff up.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uranian

We seem to be just dioning and diongin, but what lurks beneath the surface? Could it be urning? Or zwitter? Or uraniaster?

Have fun at Def Leppard!!!

DEF LEPPARD, STYX, AND REO SPEEDWAGON!!!

DEF LEPPARD BABY!!!!

Game plan:
1. Get off work early
2. Go to Viking and get crunked
3. Stumble to concert
4. Have our faces melted with the f***ing amazing-tastically-superbly-sweet-awesome music
5. Stumble back to bars
6. Regain po-drunk state of mind
7. Stumble home
*for those of us who have to work*
8. Do a half-assed hungover job at work
9. That night....NO QUARTER!!!

Music for "The Rules"

Motorhead - The Chase Is Better Than the Catch
Motorhead - Love You Like a Reptile
AC/DC - Givin' the Dog a Bone
AC/DC - Squealer
AC/DC - The Jack
AC/DC - She's Got Balls
Aerosmith - Big Ten Inch Record
Arctic Monkeys - Fake Tales of San Francisco
Arctic Monkeys - Still Take You Home
Arctic Monkeys - When the Sund Goes Down
Bob Dylan - Just Lika a Woman
Bob Dylan - Rainy Day Women #12 & 35
Bob Dylan - Maggie's Farm
Bob Seger - Still the Same
Bruce Springsteen - I'm on Fire
Cheap Trick - I Must Be Dreamin'
The Cult - She Sells Sanctuary
The Cure - Fascination Street
Curtis Mayfield - Superfly
Damien Rice - Woman Like a Man
David Bowie - Golden Years
David Bowie - Rebel, Rebel
Eminem - Superman
Flight of the Conchords - Business Time
George Thorogood - You Talk Way Too Much
Guns n' Roses - Don't Cry
Guns n' Rose - It's So Easy
Iron Maiden - 22 Acacia Avenue
Journey - Seperate Ways (Worlds Apart)
Led Zeppelin - The Lemon Song
Motley Crue - Looks That Kill
Motley Crue - Girl, Girls, Girls
Pink Floyd - Mother
Pink Floyd - Young Lust
The Police - Don't Stand So Close to Me
Queens of the Stone Age - Everyone Knows That Your Insane
Queens of the Stone Age - Little Sister
The Ramones - I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
The Ramones - I Don't Wanna Walk Around With You
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Breaking the Girl
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Suck My Kiss
The Rolling Stones - Emotional Rescue
The Stone Roses - I Wanna Be Adored
The Stooges - Loose
The Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Dog
Van Halen - Ice Cream Man
Van Halen - Ain't Talkin' Bout Love
Violent Femmes - Gimme the Car
Violent Femmes - Kiss Off
ZZ Top - Legs
ZZ Top - Tube Snake Boogie
ZZ Top - Sharp Dressed Man
ZZ Top - Gimme All Your Lovin'
50 Cent - P.I.M.P
The Roots - The Seed (2.0)

There's a sequel?

Happy B-Day Paul!

Happy Birthday Paul!

Moving Day!

Becca, Matt, and I are moving today. Well, not all together. Well, Becca and Matt are moving together. I am moving solo. But we are all moving together. Are we clear? Okay.

Directions from the DINKs' place to my place:


View Larger Map


This means that you should ALL move to Browne's Addition. Capisce?

Sean "Farrah" Tooley

So today for lunch Alex, Tammie, Devon, and I all went to lunch at Applebee's. When we arrived we waited, then were finally seated to be greeted by out server, Clayton. The meal was eventful, I managed to have Alex order a single glass of wine, only to have him later look really drunk and describe himself as feeling "dizzy." This is also the man ladies and gentlemen that never drinks and in his own words is a "stalker," Mary and Rachel can verify this.

Anyway, during the meal, Clayton was joking around with our table and called my Farrah because of my long flowing golden locks. I was not offended, I found it amusing. Also over the course of the meal there were tons of opportunities to rag of people in our office, and heckle Alex. Devon was amused because she said that Clayton was hitting on me...seriously how could he not?The meal continued and of course, more comedy ensued, especially when we talked about George Costanza and other inside jokes. But I digress. The highlight of the meal was as we were paying for the food I asked Clayton what happens when someone orders a meal but cannot pay because they have no cash and their cards are invalid; do they make them wash dishes, take a check, an IOU, call a bailbondsman, etc. When he returns he asks if I saw the woman wearing white in the bar. I look over expecting to see a manager he's harangled into looking mean and then threaten that he will beat me up, but only see a woman in her 40's (a customer) in white at the bar and a 25 year old-ish bartender. Apparently the 40 year old woman had given her number to Clayton to give me because he had told her about the Farrah comment and she was amused. Clayton recited the number but I did not catch it. On the way out she waved at me and I back. In retrospect I feel like I should have all my dining excursions at Applebee's, I regret instantly not picking myself up a sugar momma.

Look out gay men and old ladies, I am your eye candy. Enjoy!

I Had A Dream

I think it's fitting for this weekend to describe a dream I just had while I was napping.

During part of my dream, for some reason Christian and Matt were stabbing themselves in the stomach so they could just put food directly into their stomachs.

Then they tried to stab my stomach.

They failed.

Then Becca tried. A fight ensued and I realized I was dreaming so I let Becca stab me then took the knife and stabbed her.

Then the dream changed.

Album Review: The Black Angels - Directions to See a Ghost

The Black Angels first album introduced the world to their hazy, psychedelic brand of rock. Passover showed off their many influences; The Velvet Underground (from whose song their name is derived) combined with Black Sabbath with a little shoegaze thrown in. They make the kind of haunting melodies that invade your mind and don’t let go. I expected a lot from Directions to See a Ghost. I wanted them to go above and beyond their previous efforts and make a truly great album experience from start to finish.

The album starts off great. The first track grabs you with its driving drums and fuzzed out guitars. It is followed by the shimmery “Doves” with a more upbeat sound contrasted with lead singer Alex Maas’s mournful vocals.

“Science Killer” is a lumbering bass heavy track that is slow and hypnotic. On “Deer-Ree-Shee” the band takes the sound of Beatles tracks like “Within You Without You” and “Tomorrow Never Knows” and adds their own distortion laden wall of sound. Other highlights include the 8 minute “Never/Ever” that builds into a sonic assault. The album closes with the 16 minute fuzzfest “Snake in the Grass”.

The Black Angels gives you what you would expect on this album. It is filled with feedback laden dirges that engulf you. There is enough experimentation to keep the listener interested though it grows somewhat stale for a few songs at the end. The Black Angels sound is both progressive and classic at the same time and will leave you wanting more.

Score: 8/10

Key Tracks: “You on the Run”, “Never/Ever”

English majors make the BEST parents.

Thank you all for coming to my thesis presentation. I love you guys. It meant a lot to me.

Also, who enjoyed that Cooney told Marshall to leave his son at the Y so he could come drink with us? That man, he thinks like I do. ("Oh shit! Henry's at the Y!" "Nah, just leave him there. He'll be fine."

New Weezer Single

The new single from Weezer's new self-titled album (looks like red this time) is being streamed from their website.

http://weezer.com/

It's called "Pork and Beans". The title sounds stupid, but my initial impressions are favorable. It sounds more like the blue album than Make Believe, so that's a good sign. Album out 6/24/08.

Holiday Parties

Inspired by Mary's previous post, I have decided to make my way back into the blog-o-sphere. I was so pumped about starting up Spokanicity and then I sort of disappeared for awhile but now... now I'm back, bitches.

Back in December, Tooley and I made a deal that we'd go to each other's (work) holiday parties in search of free booze, amusing coworkers, and general hijinks. Tooley's Little Software Company holiday party was first, taking place in the Davenport. Because we got there early, we wandered around looking at these fancy gingerbread houses that were on display. When the party itself started, we sat at a table with Tooley's coworker Kit and his then-fiance and his coworker Alex, which made for some... interesting conversation. The food was standard catering fare, but the booze was FREE, FREE, FREE and Tooley was driving so I had three glasses of wine.

My second-favorite moment was when Alex saw me playing with the silver ring I wear sometimes on my right hand and asked me if I was married. When I replied no, he asked me if I had any single friends. Now, he sends me invitations to at least one Facebook application a day.

My favorite moment was when Tooley and I decided that we needed to lighten the load of booze that the Davenport would have to put away. We're considerate, right? So we lingered not at all obviously (read: incredibly obviously) by the beverage table while almost all of his coworkers left to go home. When the members of cleanup crew had their backs turned, Tooley stuffed a bottle of white wine in my purse and we booked it. Once back in the Logan neighborhood, we burst into Matt and Becca's apartment while they were in the middle of domestic bliss (i.e. watching Arrested Development and playing on their laptops side-by-side) and split the bottle. Even though I don't like white wine usually, this tasted delicious. Because it was free? I'll let you decide.

My Little Software Company had its party at Gonzaga, and Becca was ill, so it was not nearly as fun-filled, buuuut we still got drunk and played Rock Band after. So, all's well that ends well.

baller.

A summary of the evening: Tooley drunkenly berated the CEO of his company for not adequately appreciating Pink Floyd. ("You've HEARD of Pink Floyd? THE GREATEST BAND OF ALL TIME!?!" "They're Ok." "OF ALL TIME!") Then I tried to waltz with an aged molester. Devon bravely drank her way through the shitstorm.

Pretension ahoy!

I found this website in Rolling Stone, so some of you probably saw it too, but it's super duper cool. It's a comic about Andy Warhol and Bob Dylan arguing... Dylan supposedly really did hate Warhol, and used one of his paintings as a dartboard. Check it out!

www.bobhatesandy.com

I'm not paying to get money.

Um, so I'm still not going to graduation, but apparently I have to attend the Honors Convocation to get my Gurian money (for my story which is "offensive to women"). Does anyone have a cap and gown I can borrow?

Democracy Now!

Okay, so it’s the news everyone’s blogging about, but it’s just too good to pass up mentioning. Dr. Pepper will give a free can of… well, Dr. Pepper to “everyone in America,” (take that, Europe!) if Guns ‘n’ Roses release Chinese Democracy before the end of the year. Tighten up those border controls, cadets — those twelve-ounce cans of chemical heaven are increasingly hard to come by.

-KEXP.org

Honey

Honey, get away.

Get a good job with good pay and youre okay.
Honey, its a gas.
Grab that comb with both hands and make a stash.
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think Ill buy me a foosball team.

Honey, get back.
Im all right jack keep your hands off of my Matt.
Honey, its a hit.
Dont give me that do goody good bullshit.
Im in the high-fidelity first class traveling set
And I think I need a lear jet.

Honey, its a crime.
Share it fairly but dont take a slice of my pie.
Honey, so they say
Is the root of all babies today.
But if you ask for a raise its no surprise that theyre
Giving none away.

Huhuh! I was in the right!
Yes, absolutely in the right!
I certainly was in the right!
You was definitely in the right. that geezer was cruising for a
Bruising!
Yeah!
Why does anyone do anything?
I dont know, I was really drunk at the time!
I was just telling her, she couldnt get into number 2. she was asking
Why she wasnt coming up on freely, after I was yelling and
Screaming and telling herwhy she wasnt coming up on freely.
It came as a heavy blow, but we sorted the matter out

Happy St. Pat's!

Is anyone going out tonight for actual St. Patricks day? (Hint: the answer is "yes.") If so you should call me.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Schwiiiing!

Nobody has posted in a while so I thought I would delight you all with these definitions from the Wikipedia article on Wayne's World.

"Schwing!" (an onomatopoeic representation of a sword being pulled from its scabbard, used to refer to a male achieving an erection.).

A sphincter says what?" (Asked very quickly to trick someone into saying "what?" thus admitting that the target is a sphincter)

Gunther: Coming to a town near you!

Thanks to the magic of the internet, I have been informed that Gunther will be coming to a town near you (and me)!

Mar 14 2008 9:30P	Cleveland/Columbus/Cincinnati, Ohio	Cleveland, Ohio
Mar 15 2008 10:00P	Washington, D.C.	Washington DC
Apr 17 2008 9:00P	U.C. Davis	Davis, California
Apr 19 2008 8:00P	Seattle, Washington	Seattle, Washington
Apr 20 2008 8:00P	4/20 Bash @ Oregon State University (Corvallis)	Corvallis, Oregon
Apr 20 2008 10:00P	4/20 Bash @ University of Oregon (Eugene)	Eugene, Oregon
Apr 21 2008 9:30P	1st Annual Gunther-Palooza in Boston, Massachusetts	Boston, Massachusetts

trivium, trivia-- neuter. matters of small importance

Just because I hear there was some uncertainty on this point...
the first Emperor of Rome was Augustus (the dictator formerly known as Octavian).
If Julius Caesar had been officially made master of Rome, he would technically have been a king. "Emperor" is a miltary term-- "imperator" in Latin-- which Augustus appropriated to make his rule more authentic, since in the Republican constitution a miltary leader might be given control of Rome in emergencies. That way, the senate was still officially the main body of government.
Smart guy, that Octy.

Btw, mad props to Tooley for getting me from the airport. I wish I had a peppermint rose for you.

Forget Zombie Apocalypse, We Have Robots to Deal With.

Apparently Artificial Intelligence will reach human level by 2029

Some people may be preparing for the zombie apocalypse. Yes, I'm sure biological warfare and/or genetic engineering or magic might just somehow create zombies that seek out brains. The debate's still out on whether they'd be able to be fast or not. But that's years away. We have robots to start worrying about, Ala the Terminator, the Robot Devil, and Deceptacon.

Hooottt Pockets.



**also, I changed the layout because I was not posting on here and I thought we needed a rejuvination. Feel free to override my edits!

Wandering around the intarwebZ this morning I was highly amused to find Martini's most recent album on Fbook.  Just him and some baby.  Hilarious/adorable.

So, Thursday is fast approaching and we (minus the DINKS) need to decide how to attack it.  Currently I think ignoring it all together seems like a good idea but I'm open to suggestions.  Something cheap/free seems the best unless, of course, my debit card/driver's license turn up before then...

The Conan O'Brien/ Jon Stewart/ Stephen Colbert feud

The best feud in late night entertainment. What's great is thinking so much of it is improv. As the NY Times describes,

after weeks of sniping at one another from their various desks, they managed to pull off a comedy coup on Monday, and not a moment too soon, as their shows have lost viewers during the strike, according to Nielsen Media Research. Mr. O’Brien, joined by Mr. Colbert, first appeared Monday on Mr. Stewart’s show; Mr. Stewart and Mr. O’Brien then joined Mr. Colbert on his show immediately after; and then they did their best “Three Stooges” (and Sharks and Jets) act on Mr. O’Brien’s show. The three programs are recorded in Midtown Manhattan.

The Blakes @ The Big Easy

Feb. 14th, 8:00 PM - $5

'Soak the Kinks in cheap booze, reignite the Stooges' strut...gritty-yet-hazy rock music' - SPIN

'Who's this? This shit is good!' - IGGY POP

http://www.myspace.com/theblakes

Free Songs
http://www.spokane7.com/music/mp3s/?band=The+Blakes

Toto: The Greatest Band Ever

disclaimer: This is the group that went on the 2007 Toto

So the plan is 7 at 710 and everyone brings som kind of food?
I'm going to man up and walk through the ice flow. But I can't promise that I won't wear my taped-up wellingtons, so I hope no one wants to be classy.
Zat le cool?

Watch out for THE gout

Some people would argue that Gout is not funny. Others would argue that it is. The fact is,

The symptoms of painful, swollen joints, mainly in the lower limbs, are caused when uric acid crystallises out of the blood into the joints.

But Wait, there's more!

Men who consume two or more sugary soft drinks a day have an 85% higher risk of gout compared with those who drink less than one a month, a study suggests.

Groundhog Day

I can't say that I'm having the worst day of my life, over and over and over again, like Bill Murray in Harold Ramis' great film, Groundhog day. Actually, my day has been going fairly well.

At least that's what I'm thinking right now.

Let's apply a little Ignatian Sprirituality to, yes, Groundhog Day. I hope it will open all our eyes and allow us to get at the real heart of what this film speaks to, beyond the humor.

Rather than looking at the whole entire film, I'm going to examine what the experience was like when Bill Murray (yeah, I don't know what his character's name is, even though I have seen that movie many times, including once in theatres).

So I wake up to the sound of my neighbor in the bed & breakfast waking up to I Got You Babe by Sonny & Cher. This is actually quite odd because you would think Bill Murray and I would eventually realize we are BOTH perpetually reliving the same day over again.

I imagine I would get quite annoyed at this, as I don't normally enjoy waking up before 9 AM.

And yes, I expect Tooley to understand how annoying this is (read: alarm clock's going off in rooms where no one is).

So not only do I have to relive the day over and over again, but I have to relive being rudely awaken every morning by Sonny & Cher.

So this is torture?

Sartre wasn't too far off in No Exit when he said "Hell is Other People," but I'll qualify that with "Hell is Other People Waking You Up Before 9 AM."

The groundhog in Punxsutawney must feel the same way.

clarification

Tooley, I don't have a burning hatred for your house, still less for the people living in it, but I do have a burning, burning hatred for the completely unshoveled sidewalks from Indiana to Illinois. Every time I go to see you lovely people I'm always soaked up to the knee.

One time, and you may remember this, I was so wet I had to wear Steve's Pink Floyd pajama pants, which luckily were completely unused. But then I accidentally stole his socks. So I'm not sure Steve will trust me with more valuable items of clothing anymore.

I didn't mean to imply that I didn't like you though. You are worth many items of wet clothing.

Yeah, I'm posting at 4:30 am. Sparks. Andrea IMed me at 3 and was like "I'm wasted, come have a homework party," and I was like, "Silly Andrea, if you're going to get drunk at 3 you have to be careful to balence alcohol with caffeine." Fool that I was!

Anyway, since this disrupted any plans I had re: dinner, I am reproposing those plans for Saturday night. We haven't had a dinner together in ages and since y'all graduated I feel like I only see you when I'm wasted at a bar.

So does that sound ok? We could all bring something and meet up around 6ish? My house, or someone else's house, or possibly Piraeus if we get Andrea in on it? Please please please not 710 though please.

I'm thinking I might make tortillas and cheesy rice. But it's hard to think clearly about food right now because anything which has carbohydrates
sounds mind-blowingly good. Some fool freshman left unlabled sourdough walnut bread in Hopkins and I have destroyed it. Yet I hunger for more.