Wednesday, February 4, 2009

The Anthology

I'm not joking when I say I want to put together an anthology of stories retelling my/our funniest and weirdest college experiences. I'm starting a list which you guys can edit and add to. Put your intials next to your entries. Or comment, whatever.

- The 428 Shit Party (RW)
- The time Liz, Becca, and I led a gang into C/M after we drank too much Mike's (purchased by Swift) during the Miss America pageant (RW)
- Seeing embarrassing hookups at the COG the morning after a party night. Or being with friends when they see their embarrassing hookups, and laughing. (RW)
- Naked snow woman (RW)
- Living with Old Man Tom (with Becca) (RW)
- The Case of Tooley and The Hopkins Chimney (PF)
- Forecast: Golden Showers (PF)
- George, Washington (PF)
- Paul's Graduation Party (Uncensored) (PF)
- Kent versus Christian (PF)
- Spokanicity v. VD (PF)
- Thanksgiving Junior Year (PF)
- Por qué, Pepé Lopez? ¡¿POR QUÉ!? (PF)
- The Jill and Cory secret affair. (RJ)
- Scotty doesn't know. (RJ)
- Afternoon Delight (being played at Steve and Erin, and the 428 chorus singing it while artfully arranged along the stairs). (RJ)
- The "rape" of Molly? (RJ)
- Tooley getting his lost cellphone back from a bum in exchange for beer. (RJ)
- Can we write about Swift getting picked up for drunkenly riding a bicycle even if it didn't happen to us? (RJ)
- Hat, Mickey Mouse Gloves, & St. Patrick's Day (ST)
- Pants-less Halloween with Special Appearance by Fr. Krall (RJ)
- Miss Spokane Pageant (vodka cakes, hair-dying, and "Danny Boy" singing at the after party) (RJ)


  1. I wrote this up to explain what happened a couple days afterward.

    The night had potential. The house was in pristine order, ready for the party we were going to have. 2 kegs and hard A were purchased in preparation for the event. Hundreds of songs were ready for the dancing that was surely going to ensue. Then, the toilet overflowed.
    Of course we blamed it on Ben, because he thought he clogged the toilet, noticed the shower wasn’t draining, and continued to shower. We tried plunging the toilet, but to no avail. Hence, we decided to close off the first floor bathroom, forcing everyone to use the upstairs bathroom. This was working fine, and the party started around 10.
    Then we noticed water dripping from the ceiling in the basement. Water was overflowing the toilet and making its way to the vent near the first floor bathroom. Inches of water started pooling in the vent, so we decided we would take off the grate and somehow get the water out of the vent. Meanwhile, we also decided to take the water out of the toilet and put it in the tub. The party continued.
    Then someone decided to walk into the corner and fall into the hole….
    Steve could not do anything but look at what just happened with awe. I was in the kitchen and heard a loud bang, people were coming from the basement saying a pipe burst. I knew somehow the vent broke. Apparently, people in the basement could see Jeff’s feet fall through the vent as water gushed down below. Luckily no one was under the vent. Steve and I approach him, but and Steve began to yell at him. Everyone but Ben was now angry. That certain someone listened to what Steve had to say, then got pissed because we were mad at him. He stormed off.
    I was in a state of awe, so I decided to go on a pipe walk after changing out of my Pjs and calling some people to tell them not to come. I returned a little while later to see that a bunch of people didn’t leave. In fact, they were partying on the first floor regardless of the current situation. Ben decided to turn the stereo up to shake the house; to continue the party. I was not in the mood to party anymore, but others like Steve and Tooley decided to drink. The night couldn’t get worse could it? People didn’t leave until around 2:15, hours after the incident. Interestingly, many people thanked my housemates and I for throwing the party.
    So how did this happen? A test balloon, or what our house would like to call a “Giant Black Dildo” deflated out of where it was supposed to be in the new sewer line of the new house they were building next door. It slipped down and clogged our line. Our landlord was very apologetic because he knew his guys caused the problem. Somehow we made the house look almost as good as it did before the party, so our landlord would not know what truly happened the night before.

  2. The shit party, my perspective:

    It was the autumn of my junior year, and I was readying myself for a pajama party at 428 Mission. I didn't know these guys that well yet, and was slightly insecure about whether everyone liked me or not, but they always threw a good party and so off I went, donned in a cheeky pair of pajama pants with cherries overlaid on pink plaid.

    But of course, not before Justin decided to dress as a girl, as is his wont. He wore a pair of pink shorts from when I was skinnier (and therefore sluttier), a pair of my slippers, and a bathrobe borrowed from Ra-Pe. And we set off.

    The party was the usual kind, at first. Friendly people, raucous dancing, free-flowing alcohol. Good times, good times. I had caught wind of a plumbing problem (both aurally and nasally), but didn't really care. Not my house, you know? I knew there was a drip in the basement, but I preferred to stay upstairs, as going up and down the cement staircase was getting more difficult for me by the minute, due to large quantities of keg beer and mixed drinks.

    Then it happened. I was sitting on Brokeback Couch and witnessed He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named walk toward the bathroom and then inexplicably take a turn toward the wall, a corner, a no-man's-land. I watched his foot crack through the wooden vent and mercilessly sink into the surface below, which just happened to be the ceiling of the basement. I'm told that those who were in the basement at the time saw a cascade of sewage flow freely once it was released by HWSNBN's foot.

    But the party didn't stop, oh no. I was too drunk to really care what was going on, but I did nervous the 428 guys getting flustered (or enraged, in the case of Steve) but ultimately giving in to the ridiculous horror of the situation and continue to drink and drink and drink.

    At a later point I found myself atop a rickety coffee table with Cory, Cool Mike, and Ra-Pe. When I realized that Eiffel Tower-ing was imminent, I jumped down, only to leave a Cory sandwich in my wake. It was a good decision.

    Then I crossed the threshold into emo drunk and started crying, as happened frequently before I discovered pharmaceuticals. Justin had to take me home while the party was still raging shit-coveredly on. The last thing I remember was crouching over the toilet in my Dussault apartment with Justin encouraging me to just throw up, and yelling at him that forcing myself to throw up was a bulimic behavior and I wouldn't do it. Ultimately I listened to him, and probably slept like a baby.

    It was the first time I ever drank to the point of vomiting, and I have the Shit Party to thank.

  3. From what I remember, I wasn't in the house when the "breakthrough" occured. I may have been outside peeing in the foundation of Vince's new house out of spite. When I came back, I was so pissed that I vowed to myself that I would drink until I didn't remember what happened. The rest of the night was rum, mt. dew chaser, dancing, rum, mt. dew chaser, etc.

  4. Hmm, somehow I've stumbled upon this site and have found a few stories about myself. Why can't I be part of the "in crowd?"