Monday, July 6, 2009

Generic Photos

Spokanicity was originally created as a means of a group of us to chat at work. We came together so we could have an outlet from the bullshit we encountered daily in our professional lives. Since then the blog has changed towards including interesting facts, photoshoped photos of Steve, or random shit that really just lowers our IQ. But I say we need to take a moment to reflect on where we came from. That being bitching about our job. Well loyal readers, here's some crap I've been dealing with I'd like to share with you in this segment I will call Stupid People.

One of the things I do at my job is take leads which come in, and requests for clients from salesmen, and do research on those companies. When Joe-Bob's Toupee, LLC contacts us, we research their website to get valid contact info, make sure they look like a legitimate company, classify them into one of severl hundred categories, then finally pass them to a salesman to make a sale. In the process of looking at over a hundred webpages daily, I've seen awesome websites, and really shitty ones. Today however, I hit a wall and needed to stop and vent. Take this company. Why do they have a photo of a scientist holding a vial of Windex? Their slogan is "We help resolve your technical challenges." I did not realize Windex was complex. But (in Krayden's defense), they do apparently specialize in chemicals and solvents... Apparently... But whatever he is doing leads to this. This is the reason for today's rant. I hate generic photos. Do generic photos companies buy from websites really help? I know that if I were a consumer and stumbled upon this website I would be excited that a scientist would be looking intently at a vial of Windex, and through this deep thought he would find the key to success, and I (the customer) would be so excited I'd do business with this company. In reality it pisses me off. I know that actor is not a scientist and probably is thinking to himself while staring at the vial "hmm, what shall I have for lunch when they are done taking my photo. Do you think I can keep this coat? I wonder if this is Windex? Why am I holding this again? Shit, do I look serious enough? Oh, shot's done, let's go get drunk." I know that's what I would be thinking.

Let's take this from a practical point. Here is a letter I am sure Krayden received:

Dear Krayden,

I stumbled upon your website and could not help noticing that your motto is you can helpo resolve technical challenges. Well I hope you can help with my challenge. You see, I have 3 rocks which I need to stack, but I will be damned if I cannot get those little bastards stacked. They keep stipping off. Any assistance would be wonderful.



Dear Unstackable,

We are awesome, we stacked your rocks. See attached photo.



Generic photos are a load of crap. They rarely make a half-assed company look nice, and usually just end up making the website appear like a scam. BUT beware, I've seen the exact opposite. Here are a few examples of companies that decided they had better photos of their own office than a stock photo.... Ugh...

Example the first: The first time I saw this I embarrassingly lol'd at work. That poor woman. I want to go into the office and give her a phonebook to sit on, or at the least send her a postcard because she looks like someone at a retirement home who has lost her mind.

Example the second: This page you may have to refresh until the picture in the top right corner (under the company name) shows "Tom Mueller - Owner".
HAHAHA! I cannot stop laughing whenever I see this photo. When I saw this page I was crying I was laughing so hard. It looks like he crapped his pants and smelled it the moment before the photo was taken. I could not work for about 15 minutes because every time I got it under control I saw his face and burst into tears again.

Example the third: Unfortunately this looks like a generic photo which makes me wonder why they paid for it, and secondly why it is something you'd put on your website?

Example the forth: Alright, again this is a stock photo, but this is more a complaint about wrong photo for the situation. In the banner check out the second photo on the left. "Mr. John - the complete source for temporary your wedding on the beach." COME ON!


  1. I got a business card from a vendor a couple of weeks ago. He had an email address on it. COME ON!

  2. Stock photos do look overwhelmingly terrible, and I'm not sure why anyone uses them given that a good digital camera is incredibly cheap and composing a decent photo isn't THAT tricky.

    It just needs to show the basics of the business, how hard can it be?

    People still use AOL? What the hell?