Tooley, I don't have a burning hatred for your house, still less for the people living in it, but I do have a burning, burning hatred for the completely unshoveled sidewalks from Indiana to Illinois. Every time I go to see you lovely people I'm always soaked up to the knee.
One time, and you may remember this, I was so wet I had to wear Steve's Pink Floyd pajama pants, which luckily were completely unused. But then I accidentally stole his socks. So I'm not sure Steve will trust me with more valuable items of clothing anymore.
I didn't mean to imply that I didn't like you though. You are worth many items of wet clothing.
That's what she said.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I knew I couldn't write a post with the words "pants" "wet" or "Steve" in them without getting some such response. At first I was trying to think of incredibly non-sexual ways to phrase it ("I do not mind walking through precipitation and suffering slight aquatic discomfort to see such a valued Platonic friend" "Steve was so good as to lend me a pair of leg-coatings" etc) But then I saw it was a hopeless case and just went with it.
ReplyDeleteThat's what she said.
ReplyDeleteGodamnit.
ReplyDelete